I usually blame this winter stupor on the snow, but seeing as how there is no snow I feel like it stems from something else. I am not depressed, that does not do this feeling justice. I am just...through.
Here we go, I am about to abandon everything that has been holding me back.
I don't care if I look like a jerk, I refuse to do anyone else's work.
The funny thing is, that doesn't even make me look like a jerk, it only makes me feel like one.
I am getting rid of that perception.
Time to focus on ME, on doing the things that I want to do.
I am going to stop being afraid to show my inner thoughts and desires.
No more cookie-cutter work.
I need to use the things that drive my emotions and incorporate them into my work.
I need to tell myself that it is okay if the project doesn't turn out how I expected it, because that is just something to learn from.
I need to find a niche and focus on that until I produce a product that I am completely happy with, that I am wanting to share.
I am sick of being pushed around by myself.
From here on out, I am going to put my whole soul into creating things that honestly show
who
I am.
It's about time!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the journey.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to remind everyone that this blog should also describe things you are learning. This learning can happen anywhere, but if you learned anything from media or about media that would take priority. Whats that? You didn't learn anything today? Why? What is a student doing for six hours where they didn't learn anything? A teacher can only do so much, the learner has to take responsibility for their own learning. This is your time to just be a student, so learn everything you can. I spent 4 hours on Friday night and 8 hours on Saturday in teacher meetings. Was ALL that time spent learning? No. But I did learn some very important things, mostly related to my approach to teaching. For example, I take the approach (and so do most in the state) to teaching video to my students by breaking down a music video with the hope that students will recognize things like lighting, camera angles, depth-of-field, and then use these things in their music videos. On Saturday morning I watched a teacher describe how they changed what they do by not even looking at the final product, they just focus on techniques. The first week of class everyone has to have a video that shows 15 camera angles, the next week they have to have a 1 min video with 25 different cuts in it. The next week they have to show triangle lighting in 10 different situations. Week by week this teacher has been teaching the elements of video without ever talking about the final product. Now this class has not yet produced finished products that would be shown on a broadcast or film festival, but the students are mastering the basics. I sat there thinking about my teaching and took what they had to say as an answer to what I see as a problem in my classes. I focus on finished products and at this point in the year I only have maybe 7 finished products between two different video classes (not counting announcement productions). I took what was presented and am in the process of brainstorming ways to blend my methods with the methods of the presentation. I bet that with more emphasis on the individual elements of video at the beginning of the year I can prepare students for video production, and unlike this other teacher, eventually move students into finished products. I am a teacher, I am responsible to improve as a teacher. You are a student, you are responsible for learning. I really love this group of students in MM2. This group has as much tallent as any other group of students in any other school. Your talents and interests are diverse. I look forward to hearing what your lives turn out like, please make them what you can.
ReplyDelete